Sunday, November 15, 2015

Elebra

  L.G. IDEAS: IDEAS AND DETAIL
S.O.S
I can write an idea
I can add detail that explains my idea further
I can add an example that explains my idea further             
Elebra:)
An Elebra looks like an elephant but it has black and white stripes like a zebra.
They are found in New Zealand and only in the North Island. They were first found in the North Island in New Zealand and that was when they all started coming to New Zealand.

It has tusks like an elephant. It has a trunk that they use to squirt out water to wash itself.
 It eats really green grass it runs REALLY, REALLY fast .
It only likes girls company because it only comes in girls and it makes really loud noises to contact other Elebras.
These creatures are a must see. Elebra’s a must see.

By Aysha

.

4 comments:

  1. Hi Aysha
    I like the describing words for example black and white stripes.
    I like that you remembered the full stops.
    Next time I think you should put a little bit more detail to your story.
    From Reece.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Aysha
    I like the way you said that they only like girls.
    I like the way you started with a capital letter for example An Elebra
    Next you could add another sentence to the hook in so that it longer and introduces the animal in an interesting way.
    From Charlize

    ReplyDelete
  3. HI Aysha
    I like the way you said that they only like girls.
    example they only love to play with girls.
    I like that you remembered full stops and capital letters.
    next time I think you could add a little bit more into the hook in.
    from Charlize

    ReplyDelete
  4. HI Aysha
    I like you said that they only like girls.
    Example they love girls.
    I like the way you remembered full stops and capital letters.
    Next time you could add a little bit more into the hook in.
    From charlize

    ReplyDelete