L.G. To write our stories using proper sentences.
S.O.S
Capital letter
One idea
Add detail to the idea
Full stop
Check - sentences makes sense
Check - Have I used my personal learning goal?
Personal L.G. Story structure
S.O.SI can begin with a hook in
I can end with a hook out
I can follow the burger model
I can keep hooking the audience in
The crystal white snowflake.
The snowflake was slowly falling from the dark grey sky. As i tried to grab the crystal white snowflake it melted in my hand. The snowflake was like a Christmas tree that was covered with white snow all over it with no green branches showing on it. I was asleep in my cozy,warm bed.its much better in your bed than outside in the freezing snowflake field.
By Aysha
You have add lots of detail to your story.
ReplyDeleteYou have also used full stops and capital letters.
Next time when your saying I in a sentence make it a capital letter.
From Amy Vickers Room 20
I love that you have hooked me in it makes me feel like I need to read more.
ReplyDeleteI like how you have added detail to your idea.
but I think that you need to work on your hook out.
From Hannah Watkins Room20
l like the way that you desrade your snow flake story
ReplyDelete