Pigeon Impossible
L.G. To write our stories using proper sentences.
S.O.S
Capital letter
One idea
Add detail to the idea
Full stop
Check - sentences makes sense
Check - Have I used my personal learning goal?
Personal L.G. To add detail to my ideas.
S.O.S
Write one idea.
Add detail that explains the idea more.
The crazy doughnut pigeon
This is a naughty clumsy pigeon his eyes are like rugby balls but they were little ones. He steals doughnuts. He has to have a doughnut or he will go kookoo for the doughnut until he gets it. He swoops down and looks for a doughnut . Five minutes later a doughnut swooshes. He loves buttons especially red ones. I’m not sure if he likes everything else that is not doughnuts but they are actually pretty yum.
By Lara
Hi Lara
ReplyDeleteI like how you have used descriptive language and words, like 'he will go kookoo for the doughnut'.
I like that you have started each sentence with a capital letter and ended with a full stop.
Next time you could put some detail about the briefcase in your story.
From Room 14
Well done Lara. Lovely to see such a descriptive piece of writing. Keep up the fantastic work.
ReplyDeleteWell done Lara.
ReplyDeleteLovely to see such a descriptive piece of writing
Keep up the good work.
hi lara
ReplyDeletei like the way that you told me that the pigeon was dumb.
i like the way you told me that the man was just wanted the pigeon to go away.
next time can you yous your learning goal
From Tayler